FiveMoreMinutes (littleprincecap) wrote,

Rewind: The Infinite Jongin Theory [Oneshot]

Title: Rewind: The Infinite Jongin Theory
Pairing: Kaisoo
Genre: Romance
Rating: PG
Length: ~3000 w
Summary: The Infinite Monkey Theory states that if you set an infinite number of monkeys to typewriters for an infinite amount of time, eventually one of them will produce the complete works of Shakespeare. So theoretically, Jongin and Kyungsoo are destined to meet.

(It's crazy how one sentence can change a lifetime.)

a/n: Directly
inspired by David Ives's one-act play, "Sure Thing" (there are various adaptations of it that you can watch on youtube) and, of course, the Infinite Monkey Theory.

Much thanks to thisismylastlie, Mariarty, and Changdictator for their help! You're all amazing and invaluable and I love you. <3

EDIT: okay so lj hates me and for the life of me I can't get the formatting in this fic to look the way I want it to. OTL It bothers me like you don't even know and asdfjkl; I'm sorry for the spacing inconsistencies. /sob Anyway. Enjoy the fic. XD


Jongin married his high school girlfriend and was miserable for the rest of his life.


Jongin didn’t marry his high school girlfriend because, like any typical grade school flame, it didn’t work out.

“Boy,” she wheedled, as she flipped her purse over her shoulder, “you’re a damn fine piece of eye candy. But you’re not as…interesting as I thought you’d be.”

Jongin stared at her. “Are you breaking up with me?”

She shrugged. “Yeah, guess so. Gonna go find me some badboy, or a gangster or something. Anything better than this. ‘Cuz for someone with a face like yours, you sure are dull. A girl wants some thrill, you know? Not some outdated Romeo laying flowers at her feet.”


“See ya never, babe.”

As he watched the receding back of girl he’d spent the better half of two years trying to please, Jongin slumped to the ground and made a decision. He’d never go after a girl again.


The day that turned everything Jongin believed in on its head was an unassuming one.

He was having breakfast by himself at his usual café when his friend, Chanyeol, suddenly burst into the room, arms flailing, and looking more crazed than usual.

“I’ve got terrible news!”


“My cat’s in the hospital!” Chanyeol wailed and clung at him.

“Um…sorry,” Jongin started.

Chanyeol shook him a bit and clung harder. “You have to come, I’m panicking! Can you hear the panic in my voice? See it in my eyes?! ARGLEFLARGABLURGH!!!"


He was having breakfast with Chanyeol at their usual café. His friend was glowing with excitement—more so than usual—and fidgeted in his seat too much to actually eat anything.

“I’ve got great news!” Chanyeol leaned forward and grabbed Jongin’s hands.


“I proposed to Baekhyunnie!”


“He said YES!” By now Chanyeol was literally shaking in happiness.

Jongin cracked a smile. “Congratulations, Yeolo!”

“And I want you to be my best man!”


 “I’ve got great news!” Chanyeol leaned forward and grabbed Jongin’s hands.


“I arranged a blind date for you!”

“No.” No, no, no. Jongin had sworn off dating and he wasn’t about to go back on his word.


“Chanyeol, NO.”

He finishes his breakfast and leaves.


“I’ve got great news!” Chanyeol leaned forward and grabbed Jongin’s hands.


“I arranged a blind date for you!” Chanyeol was grinning like an expectant beagle, and Jongin almost didn’t have the heart to yell at him. Almost.

“What the hell, Chanyeol? I have a date with who, where?” He counted to ten and did some breathing exercises. They didn’t work. “Who told you to play matchmaker for me?!”

The beagle-look immediately drooped into kicked-puppy look. “But…he’s a good friend of mine and Baekhyunnie’s, and he’s really nice—”

He?” Jonging stared at him incredulously. “Since when have I been into guys?”

“Well, you’ve turned away every single girl who comes looking for you, so I thought maybe you should try something new!”

Jongin groaned. “I don’t think gender was the problem there, okay? Have you ever thought that maybe not everyone’s going to end up in a perfect relationship like you?”

“Gender’s not a problem? Great! So this’ll work perfect then!”

“Did you hear anything I just said—”

Chanyeol just looked at him with wide, watery eyes, like his world would just crumble if Jongin rejected his offer again. He sighed.

“Alright. Fine. Just this once.”

He received a jumpy armful of 185 centimeters of elation for his troubles. “I knew you’d see things my way! Don’t worry, it’ll be fun! His name is Do Kyungsoo and he’s really really nice and you’re gonna meet him tonight at 6:30 at that nice sushi place next to my apartment, okay?”

“Wait, did you set all of this up before you even asked me?”

“… Wow, I gotta text Baekhyunnie like right now and tell him the good news, this is really important so yeah catch ya laterz!”


In the end, Jongin knew that his friend meant well, so he acquiesced and submitted himself to his fate. Seriously though, who has their first date at a sushi bar? (“I like sushi,” Chanyeol had deadpanned when he brought this up.)

He had about three hours until his impromptu date, though, so he sat in his living room for about half an hour thinking of what he should do with that time. He decided to get groceries.


His refrigerator was severely lacking in it.

The walk to the local supermarket was an uneventful one, but it was a nice day. Nice days are good omens, right? Just because Chanyeol was an idiot didn’t mean he couldn’t look at this like a…a meeting with a new friend, or something. It’d be a good break from his studies at the university the three of them went to, and heaven knew it’d been forever since he’d met anyone new.

He’d meant it when he told himself that relationships weren’t worth it anymore; every one he’d been in had ended in utter failure. So for the last few years, he’d been happily single. “Happily,” he asserted under his breath and made a note to make that clear to Chanyeol the next time he saw him.

Once Jongin got to the market, he headed over to the section that sold those nice, convenient Lunchables things that were probably horrible wherever good health was concerned.

He heard voices coming from the aisle over and the stomping of feet.

“You said you’d spend my birthday with me!” a voice yelled. “But instead you just had to go over some…some class notes with that woman from Sociology! I don’t want to talk to you right now!”

“Tao, come back, Tao! I’m sorry, okay? But my work is important and I had to sub for Sociology the next day!”

“Oh, I see, so your work is clearly more important than me in your books. You, Kris, are a dirty, filthy, LIAR! Go hang out with your colleagues!”

“Tao, would you just slow down and let me talk— HOLY SHIT IF YOU DON’T STOP RIGHT NOW YOU’LL—”



Jongin could do nothing but stare in shock as a large shelf was crashed into by a tall, teary-eyed Chinese man, and it toppled right on top of him. The last things he saw were the shocked faces of the first man and another, even taller one behind him.

“Look what you did—”


He spent the rest of the day in the hospital with a concussion and, inevitably, missed his dinner date. He resigned himself to listening to Chanyeol’s disappointed whining for the rest of forever.


Once Jongin got to the market, he made a beeline for the breakfast aisle. He’d been living off of waffles and salad for weeks now because he kept forgetting about breakfast when he shopped…damn. He needed a roommate or something. In the middle of comparing the prices of eggs and willing his mind to calculate his budget, Jongin heard a crash down the aisle.

He looked over and saw a shorter man about his age crouched over a mountain of bacon packages. The man looked like he was about to start hyperventilating, so he quickly walked over and left his cart in front of the eggs.

“Here, let me help you,” Jongin knelt down and helped the man pick up the packages and stack them back onto the refrigerated shelf they toppled down from.

The man stared at him in surprise for a good five seconds with eyes that were probably too wide and surprised for the current situation. “Th-thank you!” he said bowing as much as he could in a kneeling position. “I have no idea how that happened…”

 “No problem. Happens to me all the time,” Jongin laughed. It really did though; he was clumsy to a fault and it caused his apartment to be in a state of eternal mess.

The man laughed softly with him, and Jongin found his smiling face rather endearing. “Still, thank you!” He looked at his watch. “Oh no, I’m running out of time. Bye!”

As the man placed one package of bacon in his cart and walked away, Jongin remembered his own time constraints and realized that he only had about an hour and a half left to finish shopping and get ready for his…date. He should at least make himself look presentable, and he was damn good at it if he didn’t say so himself. Shuffling back to his initial place, he grabbed a carton of eggs and swung around to retrieve the rest of his groceries.


The sushi restaurant was nothing special, but at least it didn’t look too expensive. Jongin died a little when he counted the money he had left after buying food; food cost way more than it should. Companies should take poor college students into account when they made their prices, he thought. That way less people would starve. Empty stomachs do no good for dancing.

But he texted the number Chanyeol had given him for his date.

I’m here, he typed, where are you?

He waited for a return text for about five minutes, shuffling awkwardly in the lobby and getting weird and/or sympathetic looks from the restaurant’s employees.

When he still got no reply for another ten minutes, he left. Looked like his date was no-show. Feeling a little slighted anyway, he resigned himself to listening to Chanyeol’s disappointed whining for the rest of forever.


I’m here, he typed, where are you?

He got a reply almost instantly.

Booth on the right wall, two from the back.

Jongin scanned the restaurant and made his way over, seeing someone at the table already. He unconsciously flattened his windblown hair and smoothed out his coat before making his way over.

“I hope you didn’t have to wait too long,” he said as he sat down. “Chanyeol probably told you already, but my name is Jongin.” He held his hand out to the person in front of him, who shook it slowly.

“I’m Kyungsoo,” the man said, “and aren’t you the person who helped me out at the supermarket today?”

Jongin jumped (but only a little). Now that he looked closer at his companion, he realized that, yes, Kyungsoo’s face was extremely familiar-looking. He laughed. “I am, aren’t I? Funny, I had no idea that was you. Why haven’t we met before?”

Kyungsoo smiled. “Bad luck I guess?”

Jongin noted that this Kyungsoo guy was really pretty cute. Especially when he smiled.

“So what school do you go to?” Kyungsoo asked while they waited for their orders.

Jongin froze. If he told him he went to a low tier community college, would he be turned off? Give a bad impression? “I, ah, go to…Juilliard. Yup. Here over break,” he blurted without thinking.

“Oh, really? I go to Juilliard too! What major?”

Jongin felt cold sweat on his back. Crap. “I, uh… I was just kidding about that! Hahaha…”


“So what school do you go to?” Kyungsoo asked while they waited for their orders.

Jongin scoffed. “Who needs college? Education’s overrated.”

Kyungsoo frowned.


“So what school do you go to?” Kyungsoo asked while they waited for their orders.

“University of Pittsburgh. Did Chanyeol not mention that we go to the same college?”

His date shook his head. “No, he didn’t. And I’m right across the street at Carnegie Mellon! Doing performance arts.”

Jongin raised an eyebrow, impressed. “Wow. You must be ridonculously good then.”

 “Did you just say ridonculously?”

“Oh, yeah. Are you impressed by my extensive vocabulary?”

Kyungsoo laughed lightly. “Well, I’m not sure I quite deserve ‘ridonculously’, but I do really love singing. What about you?”

“Modern dance,” Jongin smiled.

“I’ve always wanted to learn dancing! I don’t think I’m all that good at it, though.”

“You’re an arts major at Carnegie Mellon, I’m sure you could do it if you gave it a shot.”

He thought he saw Kyungsoo blush a little as the waiter came with their food. Jongin inwardly cursed Chanyeol for forcing him to spend so much money on this nice food, but looking at the man across from him, he couldn’t bring himself to be as bothered as he was before.

“This is my first time going on a date,” Kyungsoo confided while they ate.

“Mm, this is my first time going a date…with a guy.”

Kyungsoo stared at him.

“Huh?” Jongin questioned when he felt eyes on him.

“Are you even gay?”

He shrugged. “I’m not sure.”

“Um…okay. Why are you here then?”

“To be honest, I don’t know.”



“Are you even gay?”

Just for kicks, Jongin gave him a predatory smirk. “I am now, babe.”

He regretted it when he saw Kyungsoo shift uncomfortably, not meeting his eyes for the rest of the dinner.


“Are you even gay?”

“No. Chanyeol kind of forced me here, actually.”

Kyungsoo laughed, but his face seemed to fall just a fraction. “Okay,” he said, “that’s cool. You’re still paying though, right?”

Jongin nodded, glad that he didn’t seem offended.

They continued their dinner in a friendly manner and parted on good terms. Still, Jongin couldn’t shake the feeling of disappointment as he watched Kyungsoo go.


“Are you even gay?”

He shrugged. “I don’t have much experience with guys, but…I’m pretty sure I’m bi.” Or at least I am now, he thought.

Kyungsoo seemed relieved. “Same here.”

Jongin smiled. “Guess we’re in the same boat then, huh?”


They ate their potatoes in silence.

Then, “What kind of things are you interested in?” Kyungsoo asked.

“You mean other than dancing?”

Is there anything other than dancing?” Kyungsoo joked.

Jongin shrugged. “Not really interested in anything but that. Gonna be a hermit for the rest of my life. My one and only love, ever.”

“You wouldn’t let anything else take that spot in your heart?”

“Nah. Never.”

“…Not anyone, either?”



Jongin shrugged. “Partying it up. Basically the life. It’d be a shame to get tied down by anything.”

“Oh. I prefer staying home, myself.”


“Well…I like to read too, actually,” Jongin said.

 “Really? What books?”

 “I’ve been reading a lot of Shakespeare, recently. Mostly because they had me act in some random production of Timon of Athens they decided to put up at Pitt.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes lit up. “I love Shakespeare! Who did you play?”

Jongin scratched his head sheepishly. “Alcibiades? The guy who marches on Athens for revenge after they kicked him out. So yeah, the one all up in the military.”

“Oh, but he has such an important part in the play!”

“I guess so. But he was a real person too, right? Isn’t he the same guy who had a relationship with Socrates?”

“Who knows? Plato certainly thought so. With all his words about love and whatever.”

“I like to believe that Alcibiades and Socrates really were in love. Even if they had a falling out later on.”

Kyungsoo laughed. “You didn’t strike me as the romantic type, Jongin.”

“But it would be sweet, right?” Jongin smiled. “I mean, some sources do have Socrates saying that Alcibiades was the only person he ever loved toward the end of his life. Man, not even his own wife.”

“Sounds like you’re really big on the notion of love.”

“At one point, I thought I’d found it,” Jongin sighed. “Turned out I didn’t have anything close. I don’t think most people ever actually find love.”

 “That’s kind of a depressing way to look at things.”

“Maybe. But, hey, at least Chanyeol looks like he’s all set for life.”

Kyungsoo looked happy and wistful at the mention of Chanyeol and his boyfriend. “They’re lucky to have found each other so young,” he commented.

Jongin chuckled. “Yeolo’s so in love that he acts at least twice as dumb as he usually does. They’re just crazy for each other.”

“Hmm,” Kyungsoo hummed. “I’m actually Baekhyun’s friend. Makes me jealous when he talks about everything they do together. Chanyeol sounds like a great boyfriend.”

“He’s a little clumsy and he’s got a little too much energy, but…he’s got good intentions. That’s the kind of relationship you only see in movies.

“Have you given up?” Kyungsoo prodded. “Doesn’t seem like you’ve lost hope completely.

Jongin looked at Kyungsoo; really looked at him.

“I might be convinced to try.”

Kyungsoo grinned and both went back to eating. Before long, the food had been eaten and dessert had come and gone.

When the waiter came with the check, Jongin grabbed it immediately.

“I can pay half—” Kyungsoo tried.

“No, really, don’t worry about it! I’ll take it.”

“Did Chanyeol put you up to this?”

Jongin shrugged as he placed bills into the folder, using the calculator on his phone to calculate the tip. “Well, it was his idea, but it’s no problem, really. I liked having dinner with you.”

Kyungsoo gave him a breathtaking smile. “I feel the same way.”

And Jongin felt like he meant something else when he said that, but for the life of him he couldn’t decipher what.

They walked out to the parking lot afterwards; or Jongin did, at least. He looked, confused, at Kyungsoo when the other man didn’t head toward any cars.

“I walked here from the bus stop,” Kyungsoo clarified. “I’m in the other direction.”

“Oh. Well, bye then,” he said has he awkwardly climbed into his car.

Kyungsoo’s face was unreadable as he waved and walked away. “Bye, Jongin. It was nice meeting you.”


Jongin paused. This ending didn’t seem right. He was missing something.

He really, really wanted to get it this time.

He wracked his brain for any possible things he could say to make this end favorably. So that he could finally get an outcome that he wanted.

“Kyungsoo—” he started. Kyungsoo stopped. “Um. Come back for a sec?”

He turned around and walked right back in front of him, giving him a questioning look.

“Can we…do that whole parting thing over again?”

Kyungsoo looked straight at him, eyes laughing and looking expectant. “Yes.”

Jongin took a deep breath and cleared his throat. “Can I…can I have your number? You know. So. We could maybe, um, have dinner again sometime. Are you free Friday?”

“I’d love to have dinner again Friday.”


“I’ve got great news, Yeolo.” Jongin and Chanyeol were taking a lunch break from their jobs at the old café they used to frequent.

Chanyeol looked up from the menu with a grin. “Yeah?”

“I proposed to Kyungsoo.”


Jongin looked down and blushed a little. “He said yes.”

Chanyeol rubbed the wedding band on his own finger and smiled fondly. “Congratulations!” he laughed. “I’m the best man, right?”

Jongin’s eyes shined. “As long as you help Soo convince Baekhyun to be the Maid of Honor.”


Given an infinite number of chances, it’s inevitable that we’d eventually fall in love.

Tags: exo, kaisoo
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